I’m Going to Block More Guys

I’ve decided today I’m just going to block more guys. I seem to have guys arguing with me for “not giving them a chance.” When I say as politely as I know how, “I am talking to several guys at the moment” when it appears they think they are the only one, they continue to push the issue. The reality is I find their pictures unattractive, but of course I don’t want to tell them that, unless they really keep pressing things. One time I actually did tell a guy I thought he was unattractive, but only after he was really mean. Such guys are obviously being manipulative, but I can sense there is something wrong when they continue to persuade me as if I were too stupid to know what it is I want, or what I’m looking for. This type of guy gets angry when he starts to realize he’s not going to get his way. He insults me to a hilarious degree, then I get to have the fun of out-witting him. This has happened on a couple of occasions.

Other guys just get mean when things aren’t phrased a certain way. And you see right off the bat, not the nice kind guy whom they purport to be in their profiles, but the rotten SOB that some poor lady recently divorced. Perhaps I am skilled at bringing out the worst in this kind of guy. Maybe it is the psychologist in me. Or maybe it is the vixen that likes to toy with these sorts.

I want to share with you one such conversation. This conversation referenced the profiles which the site encourages you to share prior to having a conversation. I will change the IDs, including my own… This by the way is the first time I ever spoke to the guy. After reading that he was a fun and light-hearted guy on his profile, I thought I would have some fun in my initial conversation with him, I never thought it would turn out as intense as it did.

Kate: Are you materialistic. Sorry, that’s my first impression. Also, you look cute in your pics. Not bad for a 53 year old.

Someguy: ###-###-#### call me and you can tell me what gave you that impression…. Sg

Kate: Sorry, I try to get to know guys a little before calling. But I guess you’re the type to only play by your rules, huh? (;

Someguy: Boy, you like to make assumptions don’t you? First, I’m materialistic, which by the way is a wonderful way to make an impression & now I’m the type to make the rules……where did you learn your social skills? And what in my writing or the way I look makes you think I’m materialistic? Could it possibly be my cultural background? I mean as long as we’re assuming things….should I give you the same treatment? The reason I want to talk, is because it saves time, it’s immediate & you hear the person’s voice. All things that let you make a more intelligent decision, rather than making assumptions…or is it that you’re the type to only play by your rules? One more pt. If I were trying to play by my rules I’d have asked for your #, for all I know if you did call you’d call from a restricted number, hence you’d be in control. Finally, since you’re so governed by your faith, why would you click on me anyway? I’m about as non-religious as you can get……But to be fair, you don’t look so bad for a 44yr. old……unreal!!

Kate: Wow, I thought you said you were fun.

Someguy: You make a point of saying you’re a “tell it like it is” person….but I guess you don’t like it when someone else tells you like it is……now, maybe I took what you said the wrong way, but if you read what you wrote, it can very easily be taken the way I took it, especially since you’re refusing to answer my questions. I’d still like to know what in my profile gives you the impression I’m materialistic…..finally, if you’re so consumed w/your faith why would you want to see someone who’s not of your faith? Balls in your court…..I am fun & quite easy to talk to…….your call

Kate: Actually you seem kind of mean. That’s not what I’m looking for as a friend or otherwise.

Someguy: Yeah you’re right…..I’m mean because I point out a MORONIC question that you asked & you don’t have the maturiity/intelligence to explain it, let alone retract it….”are you materialistic, sorry that’s my 1st impression”…….and offering you my phone # tells you that I only play by my rules? Here’s some unsolicited advice……GROW UP!!!….Best of luck to you…..

Kate: So you’re saying you are materialistic, and mean as well?

Someguy: You know, for someone who claims to tell it like it is, you really don’t like it when someone throws it back at you. You asked me if I was materialistic, I asked you what gave you that impression. Since you’ve REFUSED to answer my question, unless you think wearing Levi’s or LLBean makes one materialistic, I’m left thinking that you came to that conclusion based on my cultural background. So until you answer my question I’ll keep feeling the same way……but you go ahead and think what you want if that makes you feel better…….maybe the one…in this case YOU….who makes these statements or assumptions is the mean one…….again you only want someone from your “faith,” so what’s the difference…..LOL

So, after a while you could see I was just playing with him. But after his last comment I figured what’s the point? His faith was Jewish by the way.

Fortunately there are many other very nice guys I have spoken to on the site. And I am certainly not always this challenging in conversations with them. This sort of thing may be an example of a guy who is projecting his ex wife’s qualities onto me (as he perceives them), so I end up in some intense form of conflict I never bargained for. In such case, I have to remind myself, I don’t even know this guy, much less consider it of any value to engage in an argument with him. In his responses it seems that he is saying, “Keep talking to me, but I’m going to continue to berate you.”

There was no further reason to communicate with this person, and no obvious fun left to be had. So all I could do is stop responding. And as I said, going forward, I would not change anything but to stop my responses quicker, unless of course I could have the fun of out-witting such a person. As for the other guys whom I was never actually interested in? I will simply not even respond at all in the first place. Fortunately, these types of conversations are exceptions and not the rule. Overall, the experience of being on this online dating site is still a good one. And I am starting to look forward to actually meeting some very nice guys, who are quite interesting as well, for reasons other than being fun to toy with.


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Valerie L. Parent
    Aug 19, 2012 @ 11:05:32

    Here is a good example of what you encounter on these social sites. At least he didn’t swear at you, but then, wouldn’t you be required to turn him in to the site you are on? I hope so! There should be some rule or policy in place to protect the users on there.
    You really didn’t say very much to him and he blew up at you. So, you don’t match what he’s looking for, why didn’t he politely say good-bye and move on? I’m glad to hear you have found some nice guys to converse with.


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